Ok, you got me. I’m not actually going to any of the major race days, but that doesn’t mean I won’t be watching the fashion coverage with relish and living vicariously through those be-hatted, be-lipsticked ladies in the tents.

I’m also quite partial to a sleek, glossy maned horse just brimming with speed, power and ferocity. Join me in dressing up for the Cup. Whether you’re in the tent for David Jones, or just sipping chardonnay under the tent at Dave’s, dress up. Go on.

Here’s what you need – I tried and tested to be sure these are 100% Race-Day Required.

Gel Manicure – sure, you could pay someone to do it, but why bother when it will be a fraction of the cost and super-easy to do at home? I was convinced by spotting Kate Waterhouse, true racing royalty, spruiking Sally Hansen. You’ll get change from $20. You need the miracle top coat and the colour. My pick is Sugar Fix – better than blue jelly beans.

Don’t even THINK about leaving your head and hair unadorned. I love a big, floppy hat but I’m taming that desire for the sake of practicality because I have to teach Ballet Sculpt on Cup Day. I’ll be glamming it up in Lady Jayne accessories. You can find them in Chemist Warehouse and Priceline.

Smell fresh. Not sugar sweet, that’s for teenagers. Not thick gardenia, that’s for the nasally blocked. My pick is Mediterranean coastline because it hits beachy, floral notes while still being light and day/evening appropriate. I won’t hate you for sharing this scent in common with me: Giorgio Armani Acqua di Gioia (David Jones).

Lipstick. Der. My MUST-HAVES on Race Day and pretty much every other day are MAC Razzledazzler, Giorgio Armani Rouge D'Armani 103.